I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_vows).
We hear this promise being made being taken in every marriage throughout the world from both the bride and the bridegroom.
But, my question is “Is this biblical?”
Did God ask anyone to take a promise before marriage?
Did God give anyone the power and authority to take promises before marriage?
Did God give pastors any authority to take vows?
In fact, The Bible says
Matthew 5:33-37 (NKJV)
34 But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne;
35 nor by the earth, for it is His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.
36 Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black.
37 But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
Interestingly, this particular passage comes after he talks about divorce.
Having said this, He also says in the previous verses…
Matthew 5:31-32 (NKJV)
31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’
32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
But, I tell you that God intentionally did not ask us to give promises, knowing that we are all human beings; may certainly fail in our decisions; would certainly make hasty decisions sometimes. We are not perfect.
That’s why He asks us not to divorce and at the same time, He also asks us not to make promises. Because He is the creator of human beings.
Now, what are the disadvantages of making such promises?
When the bride and bridegroom make the promise, that too not just a promise, it’s an oath in the presence of God, it makes the relationship that stays because of the legal procedure and not out of love !!! Here starts every problem because this relationship was not meant to be by law. When God brought Eve to Adam, did He take any oath? Why didn’t He take? Forgot? The Bible clearly states that God intentionally brought her to Adam and he immediately took her saying
Genesis 2:23 (NKJV)
23 And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.”
Was there any oath made during this union? Of course, God was right there. Because, as I said He only brought her to him. So, no further explanation required to say that He was there. So, this whole process of union of Adam and Eve initiated and happened in the presence of God and even then, He did not take any oath. When God prepared The Lamb before The Fall, why did He not take the oath? at least to make it an example to be a procedure for the future generation ??? if not for the purpose of taking oath thinking that Adam may leave her.
Moreover, just because of an oath has been made, it becomes an advantage for both of them; meaning, it makes them think that he/she will not leave because he/she has made a promise in the presence of God. So, they do things as they like without thinking if he/she would like it or not.
Taking oath becomes a real problem for a good Christian who lives by the Word of God and not for a person who is not bothered about being a good Christian.